you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
