I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
