Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
