so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We are two peas in an std pod
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
