Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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