I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
