I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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