I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Buhtt sex?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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