ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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