so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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