Non-Jews are for practice
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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