Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
