I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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