Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
