That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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