i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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