Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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