The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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