when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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