I wish i was in the wii world.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
