We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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