For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
