I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
