Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
