I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
