He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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