Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
