Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
