Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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