11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
