we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
