I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
