No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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