Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
