I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
