Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
