Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
