Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
