period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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