So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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