Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
honey bunches of taint.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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