lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
