I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
