I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
