hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sobbing to NWA
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
