If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
