About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize