I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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