There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
