OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
