I look better un-naked...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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