I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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